Wednesday, 16 December 2015

Depression Poem (Trigger Warning: Depression, Anxiety)

Why do they call it
A black dog?
Dogs are faithful
Comforting
The very opposite of that
Black hole that sucks you in
Stretching you infinitely
In an endless depression

It is a wave
Crashing over your head
As you gasp for breath
It is tentacles gripping your soul
It is fingers
Closing around your throat
So the words won't come out
So you can't even beg for mercy

It is ants
Crawling over your skin
It is that presence
That you can never see but you know is behind you
It is the whispers
You hear and just know
They're talking about you

It is that longing
To fade away
The knowledge
That you are already as insubstantual
As mist
That no one would ever see you go

It is the blank page
The choked throat
The broken dreams

It is a parasite
Feeding
Eating away all that is you

Yet
It is also a part of you
A chemical imbalance in the brain
Something that can never truly be banished
Familiar like an itchy old robe
You can't quite throw out

What kind of exotic monsters would we seem
If all this could be seen on the outside?

All others see
Is us

But we look in the mirror
And don't even recognise ourselves.

8 comments:

  1. That's a very moving, insightful poem. I always wondered why depression is sometimes referred to as a "black dog," too. Perhaps that phrase became popular during World War II when Winston Churchill referred to his depression as a black dog that followed him everywhere...or, maybe, it's taken from the silly superstition that a black dog is unlucky.

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  2. Yes! You expressed it beautifully

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  3. This is heartbreakingly accurate. And beautifully written.

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  4. Staring into the mirror. When I was a child, until I couldn't recognize myself, and asking "Who are you?" with anger.

    The first day back home from college, a starved gaunt stranger, so far from home.

    Christmas morning 30 years old, all the time has gone, and there's no magic. Just another day.

    Watching the pain in my face. The years of deprivation and isolation carving a face of sorrows.

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  5. Beautiful, especially the ending <3

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  6. Great poem, it really captures the essence of how it feels.

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  7. True and beautiful words about a monster :-)

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  8. True, very true!!! These words explain everything so well! Last year, 2014, I thought I was going nuts! I never understood depression before that!!!

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